Part 3: Unnatural encounters with dead birds

It is time to finish this 3 post series due to the fact that the universe is really coming against me.  Yesterday, I went into work early and as I was sitting in the computer room with one of the clients, I heard a thud against the window....I thought..."hmmm, that is weird. It sounds like a bird hitting the glass."  I shook it off  then about ten seconds later, I heard it again.  I turned around and saw a robin flying into the glass!  It did this about 5 more times and each subsequent time, I started freaking out a little bit more.  The last time, I said outloud..."What the heck is going on?!" To which my co-worker, who had snuck in to the room with me unawares goes..."What are you talking about?" I said, pretty hysterically..."A bird keeps flying into the window!!" He kind of looked at me and then took his kid to the wii.  Of course, the bird did NOT fly into the window again, because it knew that someone else would have to witness the fact that they are PLOTTING against me!


Today, as I was checking the mail, I looked down and there was a dead bird lying at the base of the mailbox.  What the eff? Seriously. I feel like this is getting to be very ridiculous. 


So...here we are.  I see dead birds.  Not like Hayley Joel Osmend in sixth sense where they are ghosts...more like..I always see dead birds.  I can count the times I have seen a dead bird while running.  Five in the last two years.  I am not lying...and I am not exhaggerating to any extent!  That is just while running!
People think that I am ridiculous for all of the rules that I have when driving.  If one window is down...the other one has to be too so that if a bird flies into one window, it can easily fly out the other instead of hitting one and dying....or this happening...


I have gone through drills with passengers on long trips about grabbing the wheel if I hit a bird on the highway.  Brandon is an expert.  We joked about this, but it came in handy on our trip from Utah to Minnesota.  We went over the plan and laughed very hard as we practiced him taking the wheel.  What happened approximately 10 hours later? My parents hit a bird in front of us and feathers flew all over the place.  I knew what had happened right away; Brandon looked at me and slowly took the wheel. 


(Literally don't know what I would do if I came to my car and saw this...I would have to walk to work.) 
I see them on the side of the road while driving. (Geese and robins are my favorite...Not).  I see them when I'm walking downtown.  I see them when taking kids for a walk around the building.  (then I make my co-workers clean them up because I can't stand it)

Worst driving memory: A hobbling bird that had been hit getting obliterated by a truck and seeing feathers exploding in my rear view mirror.  If I had left work 30 seconds earlier, I would not have seen it. 

What mainly happens is a physical freak out. I flap my hands and plug my ears. I will usually scream a small little cry and hop/run away very quickly. If I am driving, I scream for a long time while physically freaking out.
Here is a picture list of what happens to me:

initial..."Is that a...?


well...maybe it is a piece of paper or...a feather duster...ah crap...not again...

uhhh uhhhhhaaaaah!!!!

AHHHH (maniacal laughing/crying/whimpering) GROSSSSSSS!!!!


Ok...breath.....

It I don't look at it, then I will be ok...

Well, I have to make sure I don't step on it...

STILL SCARY!!!!!

AHHHHHHH!!!


If I plug my ears...and grasp my face, I will be fine....I just need to...

RUN AWAY!!

So there it is....I am afraid of birds...alive and dead.  For ligitimate reasons.  I hope to one day be over this fear...as it is my greatest desire to survive the apocalypse and I am sure there will be lots of dead birds everywhere...or at least I will have to hunt birds and clean them...However...until then...Here is what I truley believe....

Part 2: Birds dead OR alive...in my house

A traumatic thing happened to me last night.  I dreamt of one of my worst fears happening. Me hitting a bird with my car and being able to see it on the front hood and also not really being able to do anything about it.  It was horrible. Upon waking up from this frightening nightmare...I was reminded as I listened to the baby birds that have hatched inside my wall, that I still have a duty to my blog readers to get my story out there.  The universe is collaborating against me...or for me...(I don't really know anymore) to get this phobia taken care of.
I do have to say that I don't think I will be able to do Part 2 on my own.  I'm going to need a little help from my friends...aka,

Chris Hemsworth/Thor....

and Joshua Jackson.

Alright...some of you may want to stop reading the post after those two pictures.

My second encounter with birds, which has lead to my crippling fear of dead ones happened to be when they started showing up around my house as a child.  We had a few cats when I was a child.  One of the wonderful things about cats is that when they love you, they leave you gifts. These gifts can be any number of things.  Mice, frogs, birds...etc.  My cat liked to leave birds on the doorstep.


I really just tried to type in dead birds and could not look at the pictures...I am sorry!!! not that anyone is really that upset about it....but serious...GROSS!!

Let's just say I got a bird in my bed one time.  Horrifying.

We also have a wood burning stove at my house.  Every summer, when our stove was not in regular use...birds would make nests in the chimney and then fall into the smoke stack...thus making for a loud and drawn out, flapping death. 

When the death was over...Joe, (my dad) would often open up the stove and take out what was left.  One particular time, I scooting into the other room as he did this, he opened up the stove top and said..."Oh!" as two tiny birds flew out and into our basement.  All of us ran around the room screaming and freaking out as these two birds flapped around our basement and our dogs and cats went wild.  I don't really remember how we got the birds out of the house, but I don't think I was a part of it. 

 My roommate Laural and I have an agreement...I will kill all spiders if she will check the stove everytime we make a fire for dead birds.  She has had to clean one out already...

The whole ordeal of birds being in the house reminds me of two of my favorite shows...(Sorry for the bad quality)

This summer, as I was helping my brother clean out his room, he said very quickly..."Uh, don't come in here." I said while walking in "Why, is there...OH MY GOSH!!!" and froze as I saw the dead bird our cat-like dog CHLOE had brought into his room as a gift. 

I can't bring myself to search for or post pictures of dead birds in people's houses...but I am sure that you can all imagine what this might look like...I do not suggest typing "dead birds" into the search box....

This concludes (due to the fact that I can't post pictures of dead birds in houses) the second part of my Bird Phobia posts. 

Soon to come our final installment...
Part 3: An unatural number of encounters with dead birds.

Part One: Where the fear began

I know I've discussed my phobia of birds in nearly all of my previous blog posts somewhere...but enough is enough.  I believe that it is time for me to finally talk about this fear in great detail from the begining.  To warn all of you out there...there may be some disturbing images throughout this blog.  I suppose I should just warn myself because I'm the only one really afraid of birds.  AND, I've decided to do this in several different posts.

The beginning
When I was young, at a very young age, my cousin and I were in my backyard when out of no where a blue jay flew out of the tree and started flapping/attacking us.  I know that I am not the only one in this world who is afraid of birds...take a look at these little gems that I found...on google.

Look at her/his face...this ungenderable person is clearly terrified and probably will be for the rest of its life...


This poor little Asian child....with her teddy bear muffler/skarf will not be consoled after this...she is surrounded. And those pigeons will not let her go.


This poor child is being pooped on...POOPED ON!!!! and by the looks of the package of bread crumbs in his hand...he was trying to feed the damned thing and it thanked him by crapping on him several times...



Crows are the worst...and I think this is from the movie, The Birds.


Canadian Geese are a runner up to the Crow for the worst bird. That guy is riding a BIKE. That goose doesn't care.  He still thinks he owns the bike path....because he is a giant disgusting poop machine that steals children's lunches.


This magestic eagle is attacking a camera man. 



This guy is not afraid to show how terrified he is. And he has tattoos all over his body...



Another child trying to feed the birds....


just to summarize...


To be continued....
Part Two: Birds: Dead OR Alive in my house...

shattered 3Gs screen + new 4s = new computer...?

I don't know why I feel like I can't throw a blog post up unless I have something extravegant to say. But here it is.  I just bought a new computer.  Not just a regular old laptop...an actual, adult desk top/ touch screen, HP...something or another.  Here's what it looks like...

Awesome...
Here is why I bought this computer.



Yes...I know...Brittany dropped another iPhone. Brittany ruined yet, another phone. (Reference a previous blog as to how many phones I have ruined biggest pet peeve) (side note: add one phone before this that I did NOT blog about, fyi)

Some of my readers out there may be scratching their heads, perplexed and thinking...but Brittany, how does this warrent you needing a brand new computer?

Well just you wait my little readers/friends/family...all your questions will be answered momentarily, but I must briefly tell the back story.

A long time ago, mainly around the time I moved back home, my wonderfully crappy Dell laptop decided to stop connecting to the internet.  You see...I have an iphone, therefore have been surviving on that and my parent's computer since then...(August 2011).  I was very tempted to get a computer when I finished the third season of Fringe on DVD in January. I needed a computer to catch up on hulu. (duh)
I mean look at this cast! How could I resist buying a computer so I could catch up on what I had missed on season 4??  But resist, I did. It was not the right time
  It wasn't until this fateful Saturday March 24th, 2011, while telling my roommate about my night previous, when my phone literally flew out of my hand, face down on our tiled kitchen floor.  I knew, the second I bent down to pick it up, that it had hit the ground at just the right angle, that the case had had no effect on breaking the impact that shattered my poor 3Gs screen.  I stared at my phone, held it up dramatically and shouted "NO!!!!" Then busted into fits of giggles as I now do during ridiculous technological accidents that I have become so prone to.   
 After lots of coaxing by Brandon, we ventured to the at&t store.  "You have insurance, Brittany. I told you to get it with this last phone, rememeber?"  I mumbled something about it not really mattering; that all I needed was a replaced screen and the deductable was probably going to cost more than the actual screen.
"Let's go." he urged.  So go, we did. And I am glad we did.  After a few trickeries done by the man helping us...I was upgraded to the new 4s I PHONE only having to pay 200 dollars. After being promised to get it in the  mail Tuesday, I raced home to my pathetic lap top...backed up my shattered, suprisingly still working 3Gs onto my itunes.  Ready for the phone to come, I raced home after work Tuesday to find it waiting for me on the table.  Anyone see where this is going?

After getting my phone switched over at AT&T, I came home to sync it to my itunes only finding that I could not do it due to the fact that my itunes is out of date and does not support the 4s. My heart dropped as the message, "you must update your itunes before syncing your brand new exciting phone. Go to itunes.com."  Well guess what Itunes??! My internet doesn't work!! I cannot sync my phone because the STUPID laptop will not connect to the stupid internet!

Therefore after a (I'm embarrassed to say) sleepless night, laying awake thinking as to what I could do...I realized maturely that it was time.  It was time for me to get a new computer.  I will say that I think I made the right choice. I am always a bit iffy about buying electronics because I have no idea what I am looking for.  But alas...here I am, writing a real blog post on my very own...very REAL computer.  <sigh> I have also come to the conclusion that technology and I have a love/hate relationship.  I love it...it hate's me.

My one and only love....

It has been an interesting week in the life of Brittany Bly.  I went to Utah to babysit my favorite family in the WHOLE entire world. I saw my most amazing old coworkers at ABTC.  Saw my sister and my most adorable niece. Was a single mom of four for a week, cried when I said good bye, but realized that, over all, I am so glad that I moved back home.  I love Utah.  LOVE.  And I miss the people I knew there more than I can even express here.  I didn't get to see some people, (ie, Jessica Mower, Aunt Debbie) but was so busy with the week that it was honestly a blur.  As I come back, with this small update of my life...one thing is consistant.  Boys will come and go in my life.  I have had crushes and loves and people I thought I could be with...when it all falls through the cracks, a man named Joshua Jackson is always there to pick up the pieces.  If there are any of you out there who know me at all, you know that I have many obssessions that also come and go in my life.
Roswell,

The Office

Lost:

and so on and so on...my love for Joshua has lasted through all of these things...and started when I was very young...Probably around 9 or 10....in a little movie called...The Mighty Ducks

Followed quickly by D2...


and I can't mention the other 2 without mentioning the 3rd.

I took a bit of a haitus until Dawson's Creek, which I did not watch much, until recently (thankyou Christine Hill and Amanda Isbell for this newfound love of Pacey Witter, ugly shirts and all.



best scene ever...

after this one...

I love him....
Then...there came The Skulls

Lonestar state of mind...

One Week...was also a great one...

And my most recent obsession
FRINGE!!!



and...here are some awesomes...just for giggles....



reading pacey fan fiction and comic con...(can't link the video..but trust me...it's hilarious...)

so...to end this ridiculous post with an even MORE ridiculously obvious statement...I love the guy...and that is that...