If looks could kill...

So...it's been a while since my last post.  Let me just start off with:  this week has been one stress-filled fire ball from hell.  We are completely switiching over everything in the way we take data and paperwork during therapy and I will spare you the details...but let's just say... I literally felt like crawling out the front door of the building while simultaneously flipping off the world.  It was awful. And it was only Wednesday for crying out loud.  Anyway...I got to thinking while I was trying to maintain a somewhat functional form of sanity.  I realized that I make a LOT of weird faces at my children.  I was wondering to myself what this must look like to them...And as I NEVER take pictures of myself and post them on public faces (right) AAAAAND I feel like garbage...here are a few.  Just for laughs...and lets face it...my makeup looked pretty rad today. I will also throw in a few other unflattery ones of me making a typical Brittany face.... just to humble myself....


Christmas...the most wonderful time of the year.  Check out Haley's mouth.  Taylor looks like a model...but sorry Haley...we do not look our best.


Now THIS picture...on the other hand....is a keeper.  Taylor still looking like a European model...but at least Mars Attacks and I are having fun...right haley? right? :)


This is my...look what my friend just bought me for my birthday... That toilet paper lasted the whole semester and I still use that tool  in my hand... Thanks Cody Lee!


This one was taken courtesy Melanie Ann Johnston.  This man was sitting a little too close for comfort at a BYU game...(these are my panic...very uncomfortable eyes)


Yeah...so what? Our car broke down in Logan and we missed the BYU game...see if you could navigate Logan effing Utah when it is raining and you are wearing a dress and heels.  Props to us Melanie...we rocked the free bus like NOBODY'S business.


Possibly my favorite picture of all time.....



My thoughts in this picture are as followed...It's 3:30 in the morning...I've only had 5 hours of sleep the last two nights...I'm trying to smile but get that damn camera out of my face.



I hate clowns.....



I am the one in the red jumper... I am serious about music now...and I was serious about it at 5.



It is hard work being a bridesmaide...and son of a...I will NOT sweat on this dress before we take pictures....


I really don't have words for this picture...except for...loosen up on the pencil grip Brittany...


hahaha....I'm smiling...but my eyes say...if you hurt her again, I will cut you....GLAD YOU ARE MARRIED NOW! :)



stuck.....stuck....... STUCK!!!!




We were the last two to get married...haha...and now I'm the last one.



And here are some faces I make at my children...

This one is...
hmmm...do you think this is a good choice...or a bad choice....

I think you are making a bad choice right now...please take that out of your mouth/off your head/out of the toilet.

 

 

Oh Lord...now wash your hands...please.

 

:)

Pinterest!

Alright...ALRIGHT!!! I will admit it...I really love pinterest.  Why do I love it? Oh...I don't know...maybe for reasons like THIS!!


And THIS!!!!

AND THIS!!!!


Ok...ok...in short...Pinterest allows me to find silly pictures in one spot without having to spend hours on google looking up different themes....I can now just spend those hours on Pinterest...find LOTS OF GREAT THINGS. 

I have to preface this blog post with this.  I am not a naturally crafty/bakey person...so yes...I am always awed by things like this....


and this....

and...this....


why yes, Pinterest...how did you know I've been DREAMING of a gingerbread/pumpkin/whipped cream triffle my whole life??

Anywho...long story short...I have felt the need, for the past few weeks, to become more domestic.  Why? Oh...I don't know...maybe because when my mom was my age, she had five kids already.  Maybe because, most of my friends and sisters have or are having babies and are moving on in their domesticated life-styles.  Who said you have to have a family to want to bake?? Huh?

Ok...Alright!  I may be a little sensitive about the fact that I ate chips with melted cheese on top for dinner two days in a row.  I might be a little tender about the fact that I fill my cart at Target with meals-for-one...every week...


So maybe I want to change that a little bit. Maybe I thought I would try some of the recipes that I constantly pin on Pinterest....Starting with...

Blogging world...meet Reeses Smore's Bars...



They look delicious right? Nice and tasty...You can tell that there are reeses in there...You can tell that there is fluffy white marshmellow fluff.  You can tell that it is delicious...And OH!!! I so wanted to impress my family and friends at the Fourth of July party...I had a daydream as I was whipping them up, of everyone devouring them and asking for more. I dreamed of everyone saying..."Why is Brittany Bly not married yet??! CLEARLY she is a domesticated Goddess."

But alas my friends...I did dream in vain.  Little did I know that creul fate had different plans for me....I made it VERY clear if baking were indeed the reason why people are in relationships...I am VERY single for this sole reason...

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Yes...they were disgusting.  And when I pulled them out of the oven...I looked at them in horror, realizing that they definitely did NOT turn out right.  My second thought was...How the hell am I going to get these bars out of this pan??? They looked very melted into the damned thing...and to make matters worse...the pan was my roommate's...that's how un-bakey I am.

The only good thing that came out of this whole situation was that when I went to cut into the stupid "bars" the knife wouldn't even cut to the bottom carmalized disaster, so when I tried to pull the knife out of the" bars"...the whole thing slid right out of the pan! haha...Talk about miracles...

I hung my hypothetical apron up for another day.  A little humbled...but not compltely defeated, I pondered on the situation thinking...I have failed pinterest. 

Saturday rolled around and that baking desire boiled in my heart again....I decided to try once more...

This was my goal...

Banana Bars....with BROWN butter frosting!!

Oh delicious...You can almost smell them, can't you?

Well, long story short, (because I am tired of getting distracted by Pinterest everytime I have to look up a new picture...) I was determined to redeem myself.  I longed to say to my friends, "Oh hey, do you want a Banana Bar?" and have them try it and melt into the bliss of consuming the baked ecstasy.

WELLL...It was a success!! I redeemed myself!!

True, they don't look exactly like it...but they tasted SOOOO amazingly good.

So, all in all. I am not going to give up on being a great baker! It may not come naturally to me...but I really do love cooking/baking for others!

On a side note...

Other reasons I love Pinterest, It allows me to indulge in obsessions...

point and case?

Harry Potter

Jimmy Stewart

Joshua Jackson

Hemsworth squared...

Just Chris....

aaaand John Krasinski...

And more of Joshua Jackson....

Harry Potter/Hunger Games mashups?!

Aaaaaaand...scene... :)

Happy pinning!

Part 3: Unnatural encounters with dead birds

It is time to finish this 3 post series due to the fact that the universe is really coming against me.  Yesterday, I went into work early and as I was sitting in the computer room with one of the clients, I heard a thud against the window....I thought..."hmmm, that is weird. It sounds like a bird hitting the glass."  I shook it off  then about ten seconds later, I heard it again.  I turned around and saw a robin flying into the glass!  It did this about 5 more times and each subsequent time, I started freaking out a little bit more.  The last time, I said outloud..."What the heck is going on?!" To which my co-worker, who had snuck in to the room with me unawares goes..."What are you talking about?" I said, pretty hysterically..."A bird keeps flying into the window!!" He kind of looked at me and then took his kid to the wii.  Of course, the bird did NOT fly into the window again, because it knew that someone else would have to witness the fact that they are PLOTTING against me!


Today, as I was checking the mail, I looked down and there was a dead bird lying at the base of the mailbox.  What the eff? Seriously. I feel like this is getting to be very ridiculous. 


So...here we are.  I see dead birds.  Not like Hayley Joel Osmend in sixth sense where they are ghosts...more like..I always see dead birds.  I can count the times I have seen a dead bird while running.  Five in the last two years.  I am not lying...and I am not exhaggerating to any extent!  That is just while running!
People think that I am ridiculous for all of the rules that I have when driving.  If one window is down...the other one has to be too so that if a bird flies into one window, it can easily fly out the other instead of hitting one and dying....or this happening...


I have gone through drills with passengers on long trips about grabbing the wheel if I hit a bird on the highway.  Brandon is an expert.  We joked about this, but it came in handy on our trip from Utah to Minnesota.  We went over the plan and laughed very hard as we practiced him taking the wheel.  What happened approximately 10 hours later? My parents hit a bird in front of us and feathers flew all over the place.  I knew what had happened right away; Brandon looked at me and slowly took the wheel. 


(Literally don't know what I would do if I came to my car and saw this...I would have to walk to work.) 
I see them on the side of the road while driving. (Geese and robins are my favorite...Not).  I see them when I'm walking downtown.  I see them when taking kids for a walk around the building.  (then I make my co-workers clean them up because I can't stand it)

Worst driving memory: A hobbling bird that had been hit getting obliterated by a truck and seeing feathers exploding in my rear view mirror.  If I had left work 30 seconds earlier, I would not have seen it. 

What mainly happens is a physical freak out. I flap my hands and plug my ears. I will usually scream a small little cry and hop/run away very quickly. If I am driving, I scream for a long time while physically freaking out.
Here is a picture list of what happens to me:

initial..."Is that a...?


well...maybe it is a piece of paper or...a feather duster...ah crap...not again...

uhhh uhhhhhaaaaah!!!!

AHHHH (maniacal laughing/crying/whimpering) GROSSSSSSS!!!!


Ok...breath.....

It I don't look at it, then I will be ok...

Well, I have to make sure I don't step on it...

STILL SCARY!!!!!

AHHHHHHH!!!


If I plug my ears...and grasp my face, I will be fine....I just need to...

RUN AWAY!!

So there it is....I am afraid of birds...alive and dead.  For ligitimate reasons.  I hope to one day be over this fear...as it is my greatest desire to survive the apocalypse and I am sure there will be lots of dead birds everywhere...or at least I will have to hunt birds and clean them...However...until then...Here is what I truley believe....