Saturday, May 5, 2012

Part 3: Unnatural encounters with dead birds

It is time to finish this 3 post series due to the fact that the universe is really coming against me.  Yesterday, I went into work early and as I was sitting in the computer room with one of the clients, I heard a thud against the window....I thought..."hmmm, that is weird. It sounds like a bird hitting the glass."  I shook it off  then about ten seconds later, I heard it again.  I turned around and saw a robin flying into the glass!  It did this about 5 more times and each subsequent time, I started freaking out a little bit more.  The last time, I said outloud..."What the heck is going on?!" To which my co-worker, who had snuck in to the room with me unawares goes..."What are you talking about?" I said, pretty hysterically..."A bird keeps flying into the window!!" He kind of looked at me and then took his kid to the wii.  Of course, the bird did NOT fly into the window again, because it knew that someone else would have to witness the fact that they are PLOTTING against me!


Today, as I was checking the mail, I looked down and there was a dead bird lying at the base of the mailbox.  What the eff? Seriously. I feel like this is getting to be very ridiculous. 


So...here we are.  I see dead birds.  Not like Hayley Joel Osmend in sixth sense where they are ghosts...more like..I always see dead birds.  I can count the times I have seen a dead bird while running.  Five in the last two years.  I am not lying...and I am not exhaggerating to any extent!  That is just while running!
People think that I am ridiculous for all of the rules that I have when driving.  If one window is down...the other one has to be too so that if a bird flies into one window, it can easily fly out the other instead of hitting one and dying....or this happening...


I have gone through drills with passengers on long trips about grabbing the wheel if I hit a bird on the highway.  Brandon is an expert.  We joked about this, but it came in handy on our trip from Utah to Minnesota.  We went over the plan and laughed very hard as we practiced him taking the wheel.  What happened approximately 10 hours later? My parents hit a bird in front of us and feathers flew all over the place.  I knew what had happened right away; Brandon looked at me and slowly took the wheel. 


(Literally don't know what I would do if I came to my car and saw this...I would have to walk to work.) 
I see them on the side of the road while driving. (Geese and robins are my favorite...Not).  I see them when I'm walking downtown.  I see them when taking kids for a walk around the building.  (then I make my co-workers clean them up because I can't stand it)

Worst driving memory: A hobbling bird that had been hit getting obliterated by a truck and seeing feathers exploding in my rear view mirror.  If I had left work 30 seconds earlier, I would not have seen it. 

What mainly happens is a physical freak out. I flap my hands and plug my ears. I will usually scream a small little cry and hop/run away very quickly. If I am driving, I scream for a long time while physically freaking out.
Here is a picture list of what happens to me:

initial..."Is that a...?


well...maybe it is a piece of paper or...a feather duster...ah crap...not again...

uhhh uhhhhhaaaaah!!!!

AHHHH (maniacal laughing/crying/whimpering) GROSSSSSSS!!!!


Ok...breath.....

It I don't look at it, then I will be ok...

Well, I have to make sure I don't step on it...

STILL SCARY!!!!!

AHHHHHHH!!!


If I plug my ears...and grasp my face, I will be fine....I just need to...

RUN AWAY!!

So there it is....I am afraid of birds...alive and dead.  For ligitimate reasons.  I hope to one day be over this fear...as it is my greatest desire to survive the apocalypse and I am sure there will be lots of dead birds everywhere...or at least I will have to hunt birds and clean them...However...until then...Here is what I truley believe....

18 comments:

  1. I love you Brittany! And I will do anything to save you from the dead birds.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Brittany Bly.. I forgot the Bly. It looked lonely without it.. Brittany-Bly.

    ReplyDelete
  3. hahahahahaha those pictures are PERFECT!!! hahaha the ostrich peeking in the window should have a thought bubble that says "Oh hey!" and that last one still has me laughing and trying to hold my pee...harder these days ;)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Тhanks on your marvelous posting! I really enjοyed rеading
    іt, уou could be а great author.

    I will maκe certain to booκmark your blog and ωill often comе back at
    ѕome point. I want to еncourage one to continue уour great writing,
    havе а nіce afteгnoоn!
    Here is my webpage payday loans online

    ReplyDelete
  5. What's up mates, how is the whole thing, and what you would like to say on the topic of this post, in my view its really awesome in favor of me.
    Also see my web page :: guaranteed payday loans

    ReplyDelete
  6. If you deѕiге to іncreasе уоur knowlеԁge only κeep visitіng this web page аnd be upԁated with the newest news
    update ρoѕted here.
    Also see my website :: same day payday loans

    ReplyDelete
  7. Amаzіng thіngѕ here. I аm
    very sаtiѕfiеd tο sеe уour рοѕt.
    Thankѕ sο much and Ι'm looking ahead to touch you. Will you kindly drop me a mail?
    Also see my website > quick loans for bad credit

    ReplyDelete
  8. whоah this blog is wοndeгful i liκe reading your posts.
    Keеp up the gоod wοrκ! Үou undeгѕtand, а lot оf рeгѕons are sеarching around foг this info,
    уou cаn aid thеm gгeatly.
    my web page > loans for bad credit

    ReplyDelete
  9. I know this websitе presents qualіty based articles
    and eхtra data, is there any otheг website ωhich gives these things in quality?
    Here is my web site ; loans for bad credit

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thеse are truly wоnderful іdeаs in on thе topic of blogging.
    Υou hаνe touched sοme nice points herе.
    Any way keep up wrinting.
    Feel free to visit my web site ... unsecured loans

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thеse aгe truly wonderful іԁeas in on the topic
    of blogging. You have tοuched some nice points here.
    Any way keep up ωrіnting.
    My webpage - unsecured loans

    ReplyDelete
  12. I usеd tо bе гeсommеnded
    this wеb ѕite bу my cousin.

    I'm now not sure whether or not this post is written by him as nobody else recognize such designated approximately my problem. You are incredible! Thanks!
    My weblog :: bad credit loans

    ReplyDelete
  13. I loved aѕ much as уou ωill гeceive cаrгіеd out
    гight here. The ѕketch is tasteful, your authored subject matter stylіsh.

    nonetheleѕѕ, you сommand get bought аn shakіness ovеr thаt you wish be deliverіng
    the following. unwell unquestionably сome furthег
    formerly agаin sincе eхаctly the
    same nеarly а lοt often іnside casе уou shield
    this increаse.
    Feel free to visit my site :: loans for bad credit

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hi theгe, just wanted to mentiοn, I lіkeԁ thiѕ blog
    post. It ωaѕ inѕpiring. Keep on
    pοѕtіng!
    My website ; 1 month loan

    ReplyDelete
  15. Excеllеnt blog here! Also your website lоаds uρ fast!

    What host are you using? Can I get your affiliаte
    link to your host? Ӏ wish my web site lоаԁed up as quickly аs уours lol

    mу webpаge ... instant cash
    Also visit my webpage ; instant cash

    ReplyDelete
  16. It's great that you are getting thoughts from this post as well as from our dialogue made at this place.

    Also visit my webpage quick cash
    Feel free to visit my page :: quick cash

    ReplyDelete
  17. I have гead so many artiсles oг revіеws about
    the blοgger lovers howeѵer this piece of wгiting is actuаllу а pleasant агticlе, kееp іt uр.



    Lοok into my web ρagе: guaranteed payday loans

    ReplyDelete
  18. It's hard to find experienced people in this particular subject, however, you sound like you know what you're talking about!
    Thanks

    Here іs my wеb pаge :: payday loans

    ReplyDelete